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"Treats, Time & Trust " -- February 1, 2007
by Sue Sanders
Ali has asked me to describe the journey that Mr. Bing and I have taken on the road to becoming friends. The changes in him have been beautiful and gratifying, and I’m eager to give my impressions of what worked – and what didn’t, as we tried to regain his comfort level with being petted by people other than Ali and Pete.
When I first met Bing, he was a little black ball of fur. I remember sitting around the table in Ali’s screened-in porch with a group of people. Bing readily came to sit by any of us for petting. Shortly thereafter came the ear infections and the necessary treatments that Bing came to dread. Next there was the hose squirt in the eye, requiring another trip to the vet. These incidents are described in Bing Blog #4. From this point on, Bing would become anxious whenever anyone reached towards him, occasionally snapping though not breaking skin at all. In my case, as I would briefly pet him on the neck or back, his mouth would be tight, his eyes would widen and dart around a bit, and the snap would come as I was pulling my hand away.
After this happened several times it became a toss-up as to who made who more nervous.
Ali gave Bing a “cooling off” period of keeping him away from reaching hands. Then she asked me to work with him. While she knelt by him, I would stand 3-4 feet away, raise an outstretched hand towards him and she would click and treat. We worked in several short sessions over the next few weeks, having me move closer and reach out my hand as she clicked and treated. There was improvement but I was still nervous around him as he was with me. On one of my visits, Ali was not there for a few minutes in the beginning and I noticed that Bing did not seem as tense. We even played some tug-of-war. Ali came home and we got to work again. Bing’s posture was more tense. When I was ready to leave he was standing near me and I absently reached out and pet him. As I pulled my hand away, there came the snap again. It seemed that Ali and I being together meant I was going to start trying to touch him again. This approach was not working for Bing and me.
I told Ali that I wanted to stop ‘working’ with Bing, not reach out at all, and just sit and feed him treats on my visits. This is exactly what I did for the next few months. I fed him lots of treats whenever I was with him. I smiled, I spoke softly, I used calming behaviors like licking my lips, yawning and blinking as Ali suggested. I never reached out towards him. I gave Ali a pair of my gloves and an old shirt to wear so that he would smell my scent mixed with hers. He was very interested when she had these things on. The next time I visited, Bing seemed a bit more relaxed. I really believe this was the start of our breakthrough.
By the beginning of summer, as Ali, Pete and the doggies settled in to their new home, I had occasion to spend more alone time with Bing. Now, as I fed him treats, I could pet him as long as he was still chewing. I would stop just before he finished the treat. His whole demeanor was different, more relaxed. There was no snapping. I was more relaxed too! I started inviting him to put his paws up on my chest as I sat and fed him. I gradually increased how long and where I could pet him as he ate. He started this activity a bit reluctantly at first, but it has now become his standard greeting for me, and a great game. He throws himself on me and gobbles treats while I smile and laugh and pet him all over.
A few months ago, Ali and Pete went away for a week. I went to visit the dogs several times. Bing was totally relaxed with me, and for the first time ever, came over to me as I sat on the sofa, sat leaning against my leg, and tucked his head under my hand, seeking out some petting! I pet his back, neck and rubbed his head for several minutes. I stopped while he was still enjoying it, and fed him a bonanza of treats. I was so excited! Of course, he and I were alone, no Ali, no need for him to be tense.
One evening a few weeks ago, Ali, Pete and I were sitting in their living room after my classes. We were talking and snacking and watching TV, and the next thing I know, Bing came over to me, leaned against me and nudged to be petted – this time with Ali right there! We were thrilled! Bing and I have been buddies for awhile but this was a real show of affection on his part. He now likes to use his “paws on the chest” greeting with other people too, a greeting of relaxed happiness and fun. Breaking through to Bing has been a real learning experience for us. Treats, time, and trying to interact on Bing’s terms have won his trust, and the two of us now have quite the love fest going on when we get together!
Sue Sanders, APDT trainer
January, 2007
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